Google Rankings

I am now on the first page of Google for "Angle hair pasta" and "Bear of very little brain" and "A bear of very little brain."  Yes, that's "angle" and not "angel."

I am awesome.  I just can't seem to spell.

Check out http://www.semrush.com/ to find out what dumb terms your website is ranked for.  Type the URL of your site and then you'll see what you're ranked for and who your competitors are for those terms.  That way, if you have computer hacking skills, you can take them out and you'll be the #1 listing for great terms like "a bear of very little brain" or "angle hair pasta."

Good luck, everyone, and please remember that hacking is illegal.

My Children Have Super Powers

The first picture is a close up of Joseph's eye.  The second is a photograph of a flame in zero-gravity.


This goes to prove my point that Joseph cannot be controlled by gravity.  I further propose that he cannot be controlled by any of the laws of nature.  Also, he is on fire.

He has superpowers.  He can turn you livid faster than a speeding bullet.  He can also control your brain so you can't be mad after he's had his way with you.

He's not the only one, either.

Adelaide has a death grip.

I kind of like that power.  She can hypnotize as well as Joseph can.  Look what she did to her baby brother.  He is now an avid thumb sucker.

German's only power is that he can smile all day without getting tired of it.  I wish the rest of us had that one.

The Best Christmas Movies (Besides George Lucas's)

It's now October, and the Christmas season has officially begun at our house.  It's cold today, I'm done with me Christmas shopping, and we don't like Halloween, so what else do we need to get this thing started?

Christmas means a lot of things: Jesus, presents, egg nog, hot chocolate, food allergies, stockings, Christmas lights, fires, firefighers, emergency rooms, more egg nog.

To me, Christmas means warm blankets and great movies (and Jesus and presents).  So, to get into the Christmas spirit, I thought I'd write about my favorite Christmas movies.  I have to preface this with a statement that I still have never seen the original Miracle on 34th Street.  That being disclosed, let's get on with it.

I'm told that The Empire Strikes Back doesn't count as a Christmas movie, but what about those reindeer Luke and Han ride around on?  And isn't Hoth just a metaphor for the North Pole?

#3.  A Christmas Story.  Funny, funny, funny.  This is the most accurate portrayal of an 8 year old boy that I've seen since I was on a playground during recess in Mrs. Tindall's 3rd grade class.  This isn't exactly a little kid's movie, but it is nothing foreign to us kids who have since grown up.

#2.  A Christmas Carol with Alastair Sim.  Alastair Sim's tour de force performance hasn't been trumped in over 50 years of adaptations.  The Grinch would shrink from Sim's miser of misers.  From oppressor to frightened old man to rebirth, Sim is not just believable but makes the watcher believe his transformation is possible for anyone.

Coming in at #1 is It's a Wonderful Life.  When you put James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell and Frank Capra together, you have a winning combination.  This is one of the funniest, most inspirational, true-to-life, unsentimental/sentimental (that's a new category I just made up) movies made in the 1940s (which was the greatest decade for movies, by the way).

With characters like George Bailey, Mr. Potter, the angel Clarence, and the original Bert and Ernie, who can pass up a chance to watch this Auld Lang Syne classic?  Nobody, that's who.  This is Frank Capra's best movie, James Stewart's best performance (and one of the greatest ever), and a wonderful story.

And there's a hand, my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o' thine!
And we'll take a right good-will draught (of egg nog, of course),
For Auld Lang Syne!