Minimally Invasive Surgery

In addition to working with Element SEO, I am working with a friend of mine who happens to be a genius.  He has designed and patented a cool bendy tube thingy that rich robotic surgery companies can do some awesome smart something with to make gall bladder surgery patients have 1 very tiny scar instead of 3 kind of small scars.

Obviously, my level of technical understanding ain't up to par, but I've seen this thing and it's brilliant.  It is so simple, small, strong, and flexible, that no one will be able to match it.  No one can make it so easy to manufacture or eco-friendly.  It has no mechanical joints, so that means it's cheaper to make, has an infinite life, and requires no lubrication.

Pretty sweet, eh?  So, basically, in my spare time, I am changing the current 3 scar minimally invasive surgery standard down to 1.  Yeah, in my spare time.  Imagine what I could do if I only had hundreds of minions to do these simple tasks for me.  I could focus on the really important things.  Like finding Atlantis and stuff.

Google Rankings

I am now on the first page of Google for "Angle hair pasta" and "Bear of very little brain" and "A bear of very little brain."  Yes, that's "angle" and not "angel."

I am awesome.  I just can't seem to spell.

Check out http://www.semrush.com/ to find out what dumb terms your website is ranked for.  Type the URL of your site and then you'll see what you're ranked for and who your competitors are for those terms.  That way, if you have computer hacking skills, you can take them out and you'll be the #1 listing for great terms like "a bear of very little brain" or "angle hair pasta."

Good luck, everyone, and please remember that hacking is illegal.

My Children Have Super Powers

The first picture is a close up of Joseph's eye.  The second is a photograph of a flame in zero-gravity.


This goes to prove my point that Joseph cannot be controlled by gravity.  I further propose that he cannot be controlled by any of the laws of nature.  Also, he is on fire.

He has superpowers.  He can turn you livid faster than a speeding bullet.  He can also control your brain so you can't be mad after he's had his way with you.

He's not the only one, either.

Adelaide has a death grip.

I kind of like that power.  She can hypnotize as well as Joseph can.  Look what she did to her baby brother.  He is now an avid thumb sucker.

German's only power is that he can smile all day without getting tired of it.  I wish the rest of us had that one.

The Best Christmas Movies (Besides George Lucas's)

It's now October, and the Christmas season has officially begun at our house.  It's cold today, I'm done with me Christmas shopping, and we don't like Halloween, so what else do we need to get this thing started?

Christmas means a lot of things: Jesus, presents, egg nog, hot chocolate, food allergies, stockings, Christmas lights, fires, firefighers, emergency rooms, more egg nog.

To me, Christmas means warm blankets and great movies (and Jesus and presents).  So, to get into the Christmas spirit, I thought I'd write about my favorite Christmas movies.  I have to preface this with a statement that I still have never seen the original Miracle on 34th Street.  That being disclosed, let's get on with it.

I'm told that The Empire Strikes Back doesn't count as a Christmas movie, but what about those reindeer Luke and Han ride around on?  And isn't Hoth just a metaphor for the North Pole?

#3.  A Christmas Story.  Funny, funny, funny.  This is the most accurate portrayal of an 8 year old boy that I've seen since I was on a playground during recess in Mrs. Tindall's 3rd grade class.  This isn't exactly a little kid's movie, but it is nothing foreign to us kids who have since grown up.

#2.  A Christmas Carol with Alastair Sim.  Alastair Sim's tour de force performance hasn't been trumped in over 50 years of adaptations.  The Grinch would shrink from Sim's miser of misers.  From oppressor to frightened old man to rebirth, Sim is not just believable but makes the watcher believe his transformation is possible for anyone.

Coming in at #1 is It's a Wonderful Life.  When you put James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell and Frank Capra together, you have a winning combination.  This is one of the funniest, most inspirational, true-to-life, unsentimental/sentimental (that's a new category I just made up) movies made in the 1940s (which was the greatest decade for movies, by the way).

With characters like George Bailey, Mr. Potter, the angel Clarence, and the original Bert and Ernie, who can pass up a chance to watch this Auld Lang Syne classic?  Nobody, that's who.  This is Frank Capra's best movie, James Stewart's best performance (and one of the greatest ever), and a wonderful story.

And there's a hand, my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o' thine!
And we'll take a right good-will draught (of egg nog, of course),
For Auld Lang Syne!

Ads for Education

You may have noticed the ads on my blog.  Every time an ad is clicked, I receive a check in the mail.  Every penny goes to the college funds of underpriveleged children (mine).

So, the next time you think about not clicking on a Toyota ad, just remember the children who may never go to college because of your neglect.

Be considerate.  Click on ads when they interest you.  I'm trying my best to make this blog interesting and fun, the least you can do is help me exploit it a bit for the future generation.  Stop being so cheap, people.

Sundance in Autumn

Melanie and I try to go up by Sundance and Aspen Grove every autumn when the leaves are changing colors.  Here is one of my masterpieces from today.  Isn't the composition brilliant?  I think I'm going to frame it.  What an ARTIST!  I amaze myself sometimes, and between you and me, that's something.

Cheesecake

This is a twist on one of Junior's cheesecakes.  (Junior's is a New York restaurant famous for cheesecake.)  This is EASY and YUMMY.  This cake is easier than almost any other cake I've made, so forget that stuff about cheesecakes being difficult.  All ingredients get mixed in a stand mixer and then straight onto the crust.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Place 8 oz. (1 package) of full-fat cream cheese (you'll need a total of 3 cream cheese packages), 1/3 cup of sugar, and 3 tablespoons of corn starch in a stand mixer, beating on low for about 3 minutes.  You'll have to scrape down the sides a couple of times.

Blend in 16 oz. (2 packages) more of cream cheese.  Increase speed to medium, add in 1 cup of sugar and 1 tablespoon of vanilla.  Blend in 2 eggs, 1 at a time, and beat well.  Then beat in (barely, do NOT overbeat) 2/3 cup of heavy whipping cream.

Melanie melts 1/4 cup of butter and mixes it with 24 graham crackers (6 full sheets), a teaspoon of sugar (just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way), and a pinch of salt.

Place graham cracker crust in the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan.  Wrap the bottom of the pan in foil because it will go in a water bath and you don't want soggy cheesecake.  If you don't have a springform or don't want to mess with wrapping it, you can use a pie dish but it needs to be deep or the filling won't fit.

Spoon in the cheesecake mixture and place the springform pan in a shallow dish filled with water.  This keeps the cheesecake from cracking and drying out.

Bake for just over an hour.  The top should be nice and golden but not cracked.  Let it cool for an hour or two before placing it in the refrigerator.  (You may want to place it in the freezer so you can cut clean slices and then move it to the refrigerator.)  It will need to be in the refrigerator for about 4 hours before eating.  Too bad, you'll have to wait.